I am always amazed how adoption related conversation come up when you are least expecting it.

You can somewhat plan for them, but then boom, your son brings up questions or makes a comment out of nowhere and you are completely blindsided.

One of the boys was in timeout the other day and when I went up to talk with him, he turned around with tears in his eyes, saying how much he missed his Ethiopian mom. No matter how many classes you take, books you read, planned out conversations you rehearse, you sit there like deer in headlights. Trying so carefully to pick the perfect words out of your mind that will encourage him, build him up, validate his feelings. And any words you come up with seem just too small. Too unworthy. How do I teach this child that because of sin and brokenness in this world, things like this happen? And how even though there are times he dislikes our family, he now has a family?

I would not trade adoption for anything, but man, it can be so much harder then I ever thought. I really don't think I realized that 5.5 years in, when relationships have been built, many years of life have been lived, that questions like this will continue to surface over and over again. Or maybe I knew they would surface, but I never realized how painful it would continue to be. For both of us.